{"id":800,"date":"2017-11-05T01:48:48","date_gmt":"2017-11-05T01:48:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/?p=800"},"modified":"2017-11-05T01:59:48","modified_gmt":"2017-11-05T01:59:48","slug":"happiness-is-a-choice-as-is-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/uncategorized\/happiness-is-a-choice-as-is-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"Happiness is a choice, as is fear"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I look at these pictures of myself, the greatest change I see is dissipating fear. In the bottom right was a woman who was 6 months in remission who feared\/\u201cknew\u201d she would die of her cancer returning. A year ago, I lived in the fear I would die a slow painful death of a relapse (plus secondary cancers) at some point in my life. Today\u2019s picture is of a woman who appreciates the feeling of fear but doesn\u2019t let it dictate her life. Death is a certainty, and happiness can also be a certainty. Happiness is a choice. In the past almost three years now, I\u2019ve lived a life aware of my battle against cancer. I battled cancer, and I am still alive and in remission. I haven\u2019t had a day since diagnosis that I am not cognizant of it or that I don\u2019t appreciate the opportunity to be fully aware of my existence.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

For the first 2.5 years of my remission, I lived first in a state of certainty that I would always be a cancer fighter and die from it. Then around this time last fall, I had a weekend with Dan and Tess that changed my mind and heart. I was so happy to have three days with just the two of them. In our weekend together, I voiced my fears of relapse and death, and most importantly to my brother who had been my strong hold throughout my battle. I had told Jason of these thoughts\/emotions previously, but telling Dan and Tess was a break through for me. Being open with my fear and insecurity was the exact point that I found strength and security. In the course of a few days, I went from \u201ccherishing every moment because it may be my last\u201d to \u201ccherishing every moment until it\u2019s my last\u201d. I became determined not only to \u201cbeat cancer\u201d but to live a damn good, happy and full life. Only I can determine how to live my life, and happy feels so much better than fear. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I look at these pictures of myself, the greatest change I see is dissipating fear. In the bottom right was a woman who was 6 months in remission who feared\/\u201cknew\u201d she would die of her cancer returning. A year ago, I lived in the fear I would die a slow painful death of a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-800","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"czr-hentry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=800"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/800\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":802,"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/800\/revisions\/802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kaleykaraffa.com\/dlbcl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}